Best Jokes

My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes...

It Taurus apart.

My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.

I had to get a running start, but I made it!

At a girl's college dormitory, dates were permitted only on Saturday night. One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, explaining to an older woman in the lobby of the dorm that it was imperative he see a certain young lady immediately.

"I want to surprise her. You see, I'm her brother."

"Oh, she'll be surprised all right," said the woman. "But think of how surprised I am, I'm her mother!"

Doctor: You have a disease, but we can treat it.

Patient: What’s the Cure?

Doctor: It’s an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith, but let’s try to stay focused...