Best Jokes

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one.

The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''

The assistant says, ''$2000.''

The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive.

The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''

''What about the green one?'' the man asks.

The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''

''What about the red one?'' the man asks.

The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''

The man says, ''What does he do?''

The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''

Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *walks away*

After completing dinner, a husband carries his plate to the sink and starts washing it.

His wife looks at him in disbelief and says, "Honey, we are not at home. This is a restaurant."

I went to a restaurant. It was full. There was no place to sit and the wait was over thirty minutes.

I took out my cell phone, placed it to my ear, and said loudly, "Hey, get over here! She's here with someone else!"

Six couples got up and quickly left.