marriage jokes

Category: "Marriage Jokes"
3 votes

As I picked out flowers for my mother, I noticed a man next to me juggling three boxes of candy and a large bouquet.

"What did you do wrong?" I said with a laugh.

He mumbled back, "I got married."

3 votes
posted by "sravanthi" |
2 votes

The photographer was positioning my new husband and me for 
our wedding photos when he asked, “Have you ever modeled?”

My cheeks instantly turned red. “No, I haven’t,” I said. “But I always thought …”

The photographer interrupted me, “I meant him.”

2 votes
posted by "sravanthi" |
$9.00 won 12 votes

Wife: "You remember when you bought me this blue dress?"

Husband: "I don't remember."

Wife: "It was on my birthday! And this red gown?"

Husband: "On your birthday?"

Wife: "No... on our anniversary! Don't you remember?"

Husband: "Honey, I'm not good at remembering colors or dresses. I better at remembering prices, those I remember very well!"

12 votes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Rajesh" |
0 votes

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution: "You do not want to try these techniques at home!"

"Why not?" asked a man from the audience.

"After years of not paying attention, I suddenly noticed my wife's routine at breakfast," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets; often she carried just a single item at a time. So I asked her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once? It'd be much more efficient.'"

"Well, did your suggestions save much time?" the attendee asked.

"Actually, yes," the efficiency expert responded. "It used to take her twenty minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven."

0 votes
posted by "wadejagz" |