marriage jokes

Category: "Marriage Jokes"
2 votes

A husband and wife entered a dentist's office. The wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or novocaine because I am in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”

“You are a brave woman,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.”

The wife turns to her husband and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”

2 votes
posted by "Harry F" |
0 votes

An older couple was asking for a room with a king, queen or double bed. The clerk apologized and said that the only rooms available had twin beds.

Disappointed, the man remarked, "I don't know. We've been sharing the same bed for 44 years."

"Could you possibly put them close together?" the wife asked.

Several people nearby smiled, and someone commented, "How romantic."

Then the woman finished her request with, "Because if he snores, I want him close enough to be able to elbow him."

0 votes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$8.00 won 6 votes

I feel safe sharing secrets with my husband, as I know he will not share them with anyone.

How can I be so sure?

Because he never listens to me.

6 votes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "barber7796" |
$12.00 won 8 votes

“That’s a nice plant,” said a woman at the florist’s shop, pointing to the flower I was buying.

“Yeah, my wife and I had an argument,” I admitted. “I was going to buy her a dozen roses, but I don’t think she’s THAT mad at me.”

8 votes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "sravanthi" |