Teacher: "You are the only one in the entire class who makes so many mistakes in the homework assignment."
Student: "That is not true, I am not the only one. My parents are involved in this as well!"
Why did the triangle refuse to be friends with the circle?
It found the circle pointless.
"If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?"
"One dollar."
"You don't know your arithmetic."
"You don't know my father!"
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi!