Little Johnny was in school one day when the teacher brought around apples for snack time. "Here, Little Johnny, have an apple."
"I don't freakin' want one," declared Johnny.
The teacher was shocked. She called Little Johnny's mother and scheduled her to come in for a meeting the next day. When Little Johnny's mother arrived, the teacher had her hide behind the curtain until snack time came around. As she came to Little Johnny, she again told him, "Here Little Johnny. It's time for your apple."
"I don't freakin' want one," stated Little Johnny again.
The teacher pulled aside the curtain and said to his mother, "See? Did you hear what he said?"
"So?" said his mother, "Don't freakin' give him one."
A college coach had recruited a top talent, but the player couldn't pass the school's entrance exam. Needing the recruit badly, the coach went to the dean and asked if the recruit could take the test orally. The dean agreed, and the following day the recruit and the coach were seated in his office.
"Okay," the dean said. "What is seven times seven?"
The recruit mulled it over for a moment, then said, "I think it's 49."
Suddenly the coach leapt to his feet. "Please, Dean," he begged, "give him another chance!"