school jokes

A kid gave his teacher a blank piece of paper.

Teacher: "What is this?"

Kid: "It's a drawing of a cow eating grass."

"Where's the grass?"

"The cow ate all of it."

"Then, where's the cow?"

"It left because there was no more grass."

As the new drivers ed student drove through the red light at the intersection, the instructor admonished him and asked, "Why did you not stop for the red light?"

The student replied, "My brother doesn't."

The instructor directed him to return to the school for more instruction before any more driving could take place. On the way back, the student approached the same intersection with a green light, he immediately slammed on the brakes shocking the instructor as well as other drivers. "Why did you stop at a green light?"

The student replied, "You never know when my brother's coming."

As an instructor in driver education at the local area High School, I've learned that even the brightest students can become flustered behind the wheel. One day I had three beginners in the car, each scheduled to drive for 30 minutes.

When the first student had completed her time, I asked her to change places with one of the others. Gripping the wheel tightly and staring straight ahead, she asked in a shaky voice, "Should I stop the car first?"

A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?"

One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when Called upon said, "Professor you're 44.."

The Professor said, "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?"

The student said, "You see professor, I have a brother; he's 22, and he's only half crazy."