Why are kindergarten teachers so optimistic?
Because every day they try to make the little things count.
A gynecologist who had lost interest in his medical practice decided to change careers and enrolled in auto mechanic school.
He performed well in the course but was still shocked when he got an off-the-chart 200 on his final exam. He asked the instructor to explain the grade.
"I gave you 50 points for taking the engine apart correctly," the teacher said, "50 points for putting it back together correctly, and an extra 100 points for doing it all through the muffler."
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude . . .?"
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."
Student 1: "My professor told me my assignment was to get up in front of the whole class and give a talk on the round, light pinkish colored, fuzzy skinned fruit which is the nickname for the state of Georgia."
Student 2: "Oh, in other words, you're going to give a SPEACH?"