Just before the final exam in a college finance class, a less-than-stellar student approached the professor.
“Can you tell me what grade I would need to get on the exam to pass the course?” he asked.
The professor gave him the bad news. “The exam is worth 100 points. You would need 113 points to earn a D.”
“OK,” he said. “And how many points would I need to get a C?”
"Wake up, honey. It's time to go to school."
"But why? I don't want to go to school."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."
"One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."
"Oh, that's no reason. Come on, you have to go to school."
"Give me two good reasons why I should go to school?"
"One, you are fifty-two years old. Two, you are the principal!"
The old pastor made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name.
They came up with about 40 names. He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad raised his hand and said, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13."