school jokes

Question on second-grade math quiz: "Tony drank 1/6 of a glass of juice. Emily drank 1/4 of a glass of juice. Emily drank more. Explain."

My grandson’s answer: "She was more thirsty."

My fellow teacher called for help—she needed someone who knew about animals. As a science teacher, I filled the bill. "Oh," she added, "bring a net."

Expecting to find some kind of beast as I entered her classroom, I was greeted instead by the sight of excited kids watching a hummingbird fly around. Rather than use the net, I suggested they hang red paper by an open door. The bird would be drawn to it, I explained, and eventually fly out.

Later, the teacher called back. The trick worked. "Now," she said, "we have two hummingbirds flying around the room."

When I became a licensed chiropractor, I moved back to my hometown and soon had a thriving practice. One morning I saw a new patient whom I recognized as my old high school principal.

"Gee," I said nervously, "I’m a little surprised to see you here."

"Why?" he replied. "You certainly spent a great deal of time in my office."