Professor (picking on a sleepy student): "Name two pronouns."
Student (yawning): "Who? Me?"
Professor: "Very good, and here I thought you were inattentive."
Two students were arguing when their teacher entered the classroom. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”
One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter "R" and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it.
To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: "Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare."
In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the sentence out loud.
The boy nervously eyed his classmates - many of them already laughing - then replied, "Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough."
What’s the first thing sea animals learn in school?
Their A-B-Seas.