school jokes

First grade teacher: "There are two words I don't allow in my class. One is 'gross' and the other is 'cool.'"

Rachel: "Yeah? So, what are the words?"

Taking great pains to be specific, the new auto-shop teacher on our staff explained to three of his students that he wanted them to clean a car that was parked outside. He gave them two extension cords, the vacuum cleaner, a bucket, rags and the car keys. He mentioned that the car was one to be used in his class.

Later he went out and discovered them sitting in the car, feet up on the dashboard, listening to the stereo. "Why aren't you vacuuming the car?" he asked.

"Because the extension cord wouldn't reach," was the reply.

Exasperated, the teacher stated, "That's why I gave you two."

"We tried the other one," a student said, "but it wouldn't reach either."

When I was growing up, I used to watch M*A*S*H. It was on for eleven seasons. It was about the Korean War.

Years later in high school, in my history class, the teacher asked us, “How long did the Korean War last?”

I raised my hand, and answered, “Eleven years.”

Needless to say, I got an F in history.