Teacher: What is a synonym?
Student: A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other!
As a new school principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day.
Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day. The school where he had been at previously had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox.
Cautiously, he asked the school's long time custodian, "Do you think it's wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?"
The Custodian looked at him gravely... "We trust them with the children, don't we?"
When he was four, my grandson Jacob could hardly wait for his first day of school. That morning he waited anxiously with his mother, Katherine, for the bus to arrive.
The bus arrived and he started up the steps to get on. He heard his mom say something just as he passed the bus driver. With tears in her eyes, Katherine said, "What about a kiss?"
Jacob stopped, retraced a few steps, then promptly kissed the bus driver before he took a seat.
Schoolmaster: "This makes the fifth time I have punished you this week. What do have you to say for yourself?"
Youth: "That I am glad it's Friday, sir."