school jokes

One day during cooking class, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces. When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, "Don't forget to use wooden spoons."

As I stirred my sauce, I contemplated the physics behind the mystery of the wooden spoon, and decided it must have something to do with heat conduction. I approached Mrs. Jones to test my theory.

"Why wooden spoons?" I asked.

"Because," she replied, "if I have to sit here listening to twenty-three metal spoons banging against metal pots, I'll go nuts."

Our 15-year-old daughter, Melanie, had to write a report for school about World War II, specifically D-Day and the invasion of Normandy.

"Isn't there a movie about that?" she asked.

I told her there was, but I couldn't think of the name.

Then it came to her, "Oh, I remember! Isn't it something like 'Finding Private Nemo'?"

A kindergarten teacher at age 30 was talking to the children seated on the floor around her. She then removed her glasses to clean them.

"Wow, Miss Collins!" one child exclaimed. "You look really different without your glasses on!"

Another child piped up, "I bet she looks different when she takes her teeth out, too!"

The teacher barks at Little Johnny, “Is that bubble gum in your mouth?"

Johnny nods.

"In the trash can! Right now!”

Little Johnny looks at the trash can, then back to the teacher, "With the bubble gum?"