school jokes

After recess Emma told the teacher that Jillian, Stephany and she needed one more person to play foursquare but Little Johnny refused complaining he isn’t a team player.

Teacher: “Little Johnny why wouldn’t you play foursquare with the girls?"

Little Johnny: “My mother had quadruplets, ten months later she had my twin sister and me. Ten months after that she had triplets.”

Teacher: “It looks as though you have 8 siblings all within 10 months of your age at home but what does that have to do with school?”

Little Johnny: “Unlike my house there are boys at school.”

At school my friend told me he was being bullied by two guys. I was visibly upset and steaming around the collar. With a very stern look on my face and a forceful voice I said “Let’s go take care of this RIGHT NOW!”

My friend went on to say the very large but smaller of the two goes by the name G.O. Rilla and the other guy is called Gigantophithecus.

He told me he thinks the big one got that name because you can only see a baseball size patch of skin on his face the rest is covered by thick wire like hair. He went on to say he thinks the guy has been held back in school about six or seven times.

My friend was quite concerned about seeking them out and asked if I knew a defense art form he wasn’t aware of.

I replied, “In fact I do, it’s called the art of diplomacy. We’re going to hire them as personal body guards. I get twenty bucks a week allowance, how about you?”

"Now then, Tommy Brown," said the teacher, "I want to set you a little problem. Suppose there were five children and their mother had only four potatoes to share between them. She wants to give each child an equal share. How would she do it?"

"Mash the potatoes," said the boy.