"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.
"He's a magician, ma'am" said Little Johnny.
"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"
"He saws people in half."
"Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"
"One half brother and two half sisters."
At the end of last semester, a fellow student complained about how he failed the English course.
The teacher invited him to write a formal letter of complaint to the principal.
I glanced at his letter to see how it was going.
His first sentence read, "Dear Principle, it is infair and unposible that I faled english."
The engineering students conspired to make fun of the professor, Mr. Lawrence. They went up to him and said, “Sir, We have invented a device which can help one see through a solid wall.”
Mr. Lawrence asked, “Really? What is that?”
One student said, “A hole.”