Two weeks ago a student wore a shirt to class with GUESS emblazoned across the front.
I advised her that that wasn't an advisable test-taking strategy.
Then last Friday, she wore a shirt advertising the band AC/DC...
Same advice.
The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to count to fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important.
Next day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving rapidly.
Suddenly the whole class shouted: "Ninety eight, ninety-nine, one hundred... Your coat's on fire, sir!"
The test I gave my math class covered everything we'd studied all year -- fractions, percentages and portions of whole units.
But maybe I could have explained things better. To the question "What portion of a foot is six inches?"
One student answered, "The toes?"
During a Christmas exam, one of the questions was: What causes a depression?
One of the students wrote: "God knows! I don't. Merry Christmas!"
The exam paper came back with the prof's notation: "God gets 100. You get zero. Happy New Year."