Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of "Show and Tell" that day had been parents' occupations.
The teacher pulled me aside. Whispering, she advised, "You might want to explain a little bit more to your daughter what you do for a living."
I work as a training consultant and often conduct my seminars in motel conference rooms.
When I asked why, the teacher explained, "Your daughter told the class she wasn't sure what you did, but said you got dressed real pretty and went to work at motels."
Teacher: Vincent, not to be presumptuous, but your short story is truly fantastic. Did you really write it?
Vincent: Yes, I wrote, while my mother dictated.
Principal: "Billy, is it true that you called the teacher a big meanie?"
Billy: "Yes I did."
Principal: "And did you call her a wicked old witch?"
Billy: "Yes I did."
Principal: "And did you call her a wicked old witch?"
Billy: "No, but I'll remember that for next time!"
I was so unpopular at school they used to call me "Batteries"...
Because I was never included in anything.