school jokes

I was teaching my Grade 1 class to tell time using a conventional analog clock. "We'll be learning about the hour hand and the minute hand," I explained.

One of the students interrupted and said, "I don't need to learn on that kind of clock. My dad bought me this digital watch, and right now it's ten minutes to 38."

Jack had a oral hygiene problem for years but all of his friends were afraid to tell him because it would probably hurt his feelings they thought.

One day in our science class, we were paired together. Our station was missing it's microscope so Jack asked me to get one from elsewhere that was not being used. I came back to the our work station and handed him a .5 ounce bottle of mouthwash.

"What is this?" Jack asked. "I asked for a Microscope."

I replied, "I didn't give you what you wanted, but I gave you what everybody knows you need. A small bottle of Scope mouthwash. So I gave you a micro 'Scope'."

My friends from New York talk about how tough their schools were. I’m not impressed. I'm from Texas.

My school had it’s own coroner.

We used to write essays like: “What I want to be IF I grow up...”