Best Jokes

A husband and wife are sitting on the couch. After a long day at work, they are both just resting and relaxing as they watch a tv show.

Husband: "I am feeling thirsty. Can you please get me some water?"

Wife: "Shall I also get you some pizza as well?"

Husband: "Oh wow! That‘d be great, my mouth is already watering."

Wife: "Good, that means you don't need the water anymore then."

Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?

Because the rest of the letters were not-E.

Mother: "Why did you swallow the money I gave you?"

Son: "Well, you said that the money was for lunch!"

My kids are like inmates at a jail...

They eat for free, they claim they are innocent, and they don’t like the warden.