Melvin: I’d like to be an organ donor.
Doctor: And which organ do you wish to donate?
Melvin: The one that’s been in by basement for ten years. No one’s used it for the past six years.
Bob sent Alice the following email: "Dear Alice, I must be getting so forgetful. I proposed to you last night , but have forgotten whether you said yes or no."
Alice replied: "Dear Bob. It is so good to hear from you. I know I said no to someone last night, but I had forgotten just who it was."
A woman was talking to a co-worker, "I don't know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He doesn't put anything away, I am always going around the house cleaning up after him."
The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, 'Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'"
The first woman asked, "Did it help?"
Her co-worker replied, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since."
My wife called. She said, "The two kids want you to take them bowling on Saturday, then afterwards they want you to take them to the cinema."
"It's either one or the other," I said. "Otherwise it's too expensive."
"OK" she replied. "Which one do you prefer?"
I said, "David!"