Best Jokes

On the first day of class the chemistry professor was asking around the room the elements in the periodic table. "Jones, what does HNO3 signify?

Jones, searching for the answer replied, "Well, ah, I've got it right on the tip of my tongue, sir."

Professor: "Well, you better spit it out. It's nitric acid."

A pirate walks into a pub on the mainland with an enormous rainbow feathered parrot on his shoulder. The barkeep stares at the rather intimidating bird until he finally gathers enough courage to ask the pirate about it.

He points at the pirate and says, “Where did you get that?”

“Pirate Bay,” the parrot answers, “the place is filled to the brim with ’em!”

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and i will go to mine.

Interviewer: "Your resume says you take things too literally."

Me: “When the hell did my resume learn to talk?”