Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up!
Husband: “Call 911 quick, I think I’m having a heart attack!“
The wife picked up his cell phone to call. She said, “Give me your password!”
Husband: "Never mind, I’m feeling much better now."
The president is packing for a trip to Japan and being aware of the custom of removing ones shoes before entering the home, he ask his staff to procure a pair of loafers.
The day of the trip, two congressmen showed up ready to go.
Danny, caught off-guard, yells at his roommate, "Dude! Why are you taking a bath with the bathroom door open?"
His roommate David replies, "I'm making sure no one is looking at me through keyhole."