"How is your Aunt Bobbie?" asked a family friend.
"She had her appendix taken out the other day," I informed her.
"Did they give her anything for it?"
"No," I answered, "it wasn't worth anything."
What do you call a girl on the beach with no arms and no legs?
Sandy
What was here friends name?
Shelly
What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs on the porch?
Matt
What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob
What do you call a girl with one leg longer than the other?
Eileen
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered, "Sure , why not."
So the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
You know what really makes me smile?
Facial muscles.