Best Jokes

Danny, caught off-guard, yells at his roommate, "Dude! Why are you taking a bath with the bathroom door open?"

His roommate David replies, "I'm making sure no one is looking at me through keyhole."

Dietitian: Did you follow the course that I have given you 4 weeks ago?

Client: Yes, of course!

Dietitian: So did you lose at least 4lbs ?

Client: No! I lost 4 weeks!

Two men, an American and an Indian were sitting in a bar and discussing about their family problems..

The Indian man said to the American, 'We have problem in India we can't marry the one whom we love, You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love... I told them that openly and now have a lot of family problems.

The American said, talking about love marriages... In America We can marry the one whom we love. I'll tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle.

Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson.And you say you have family problems.

The Indian fainted........!

"I have really good eyesight. Even in the dark, I can see things that are far away."

"Really, like what things?"

"Well, the moon and the stars."