Best Jokes

My wife called. She said, "The two kids want you to take them bowling on Saturday, then afterwards they want you to take them to the cinema."

"It's either one or the other," I said. "Otherwise it's too expensive."

"OK" she replied. "Which one do you prefer?"

I said, "David!"

Google is so useless...

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was about 15,000 matches.

Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle. They were promptly stopped by a policeman who said, “What do you think you are doing?“

“What if you have an accident? The priests say, “Don’t worry, my son. God is with us.”

The policeman says, “In that case, I have to book you. Three people are not allowed to ride on a motorcycle."

My wife and I just celebrated her 32nd birthday yesterday.

It was the fastest birthday party we’ve ever had.