Best Jokes

Three lifelong buddies (one not so bright) were returning from a day of mountain biking in the Rocky Mountains. The not so bright buddy was in the back of the truck to better enjoy the mountains.

Heading around a rather tight turn, the truck veers off the cliff and plummets into a lake just below.

After just a few seconds, the two buddies in the truck cab break the surface with a gasp of air. To their horror, they realize their not so bright companion was still under water and they both immediately dove down to rescue him.

They pulled him to the surface and after a coughing fit asked him why he hadn't swam to the surface. With an annoyed look on his face, the not so bright buddy says, “I couldn't get the tailgate open!”

A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”

The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”

One evening a grandmother was babysitting her two granddaughters Anne and Betty. Presently, 8:00 PM rolled around.

"Okay, time for bed," she informed the two children who were playing in the den.

"Why?" Anne asked (aged 6). "It's so early!"

"Your father said your bedtime is 8:00," the grandmother said.

"You don't have to listen to him," the Betty (aged 4½) replied.

"Why not?" the grandmother asked.

Betty answered, "Because you're his mother!"

Father: What you want to be in your life?

Son: A Doctor.

Father: What skills do you have of a doctor?

Son: Doctor's handwriting.