Best Jokes

Why is a kangaroo like a pool table?

They both have side pockets!

Three men appear in court, on charges of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park. The judge asks the first defendant, "What were you doing?"

"Oh, just throwing peanuts in the pond."

The judge asks the second gentleman, "And what were you doing?"

"I was throwing peanuts in the pond, too."

"Sounds harmless," says the judge. He turns to the third person, "And you, were you throwing peanuts in the pond as well?"

"No, sir. I AM Peanuts!"

We'll never run out of math teachers as long as they multiply.

I asked my grandma what health problems ran in our family, for a school project.

She said she couldn't really think of any.

"So you've been pretty healthy all your life?" I asked.

"Yep." she replied contentedly.

"So you've never been bed ridden?" I went on.

"Lord yes, hundreds of times, and once in a buggy!"