Best Jokes

Q: What kind of rocks are on the bottom of the Mississippi River?

A: Wet rocks.

Walking thru the mall past the vision center, I told my wife, "Ignore the store to your left, it's not really there... it's an optical illusion."

If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono...
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali...

If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, she'd be Cat Doggy Dogg...
If Sandra Locke married Elliott Ness, divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she would become Sondra Locke Ness Munster...
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting...

If Ivana Trump married Orson Bean, King Oscar, Louis Mayer, Norbert Wiener, the she'd be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener...

And, if Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced and married Gregory Peck, Divorced him for Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur!!!

What has feet, legs, but nothing else?

Pantyhose!