Best Jokes

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady.

He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.

Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”

And the lady said, “Pardon?”

"You know how you can tell that cats are smarter?"

"How?"

"Ever see eight cats pulling a sled through snow?"

As Jenna waits in line at the grocery store, she can't help but overhear the conversation of the lady in front of her.

"Don't forget to say thank you, and to sit up straight, use your napkin, and please, for the love of God close your mouth when you chew!"

The lady happens to make eye contact with Jenna.

Jenna says, "Kids, huh?"

The lady rolls her eyes, shakes her head, and mouths the word, "Husband."

The shop was offering jackets containing 50% wool, 50% polyester. and 50% cotton.

I asked the assistant, "How is that possible?"

She replied, "Sir, this is a jacket and a half!"