Best Jokes

At the funeral of the richest man in town, a stranger saw a woman crying very loudly. The stranger said, “Are you a relative of the deceased?”

“No.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“That’s why!”

A man came back to the dealer from whom he bought a new car.

“I believe you gave me a guarantee with my car,” he said.

“That’s right, sir,” the salesman answered. “We will replace anything that breaks.”

“Fine, I need a new garage door.”

“Doc, Doc!” the man yelled. “I’ve got cucumbers growing out of my ears!”

“My goodness!” exclaimed the doctor. “How did that happen?”

“Sure beats me. I planted carrots.”

During the Revolutionary War, England lost the battle of Saratoga because General Howe stayed in Philadelphia...

So they lost due to "lack of no Howe"!