Best Jokes

The police rang me today to say they've recovered our stolen sofa...

Which I thought was nice of them, since it was starting to look scruffy and faded.

One day I'd like to GO to Conclusions...

But you always have to jump to them, and I'm not much on physical activity.

Customer: Waiter, I’ll have grits, please.

Waiter: Hominy, sir?

Customer: Oh, a couple of dozen.

First Hunter: I just met a great big bear in the woods.

Second Hunter: Did you give him both barrels?

First Hunter: Both barrels? I gave him the whole gun.