Best Jokes

A student was heading home for the holidays. When she got to the airline counter, she presented her ticket to New York and as she gave the agent her luggage she asked, "I'd like you to send my green suitcase to Hawaii, and my red suitcase to London."

The confused agent said, "I'm sorry, we can't to that."

"Really? I am so relieved to hear you say that because, that's exactly what you did to my luggage last year!"

What is the most common sickness for Christmas Trees?

Tincel-itis!

Teacher: If you have 10 muffins and your friend asks for 2 of them, how many muffins would you have left?

Me: 10

Teacher: Okay, let me try again. You have 10 muffins. What if your friend takes 2 of your muffins, how many would you have left?

Me: Still 10 muffins... and 1 injured friend.

A prominent surgeon, who was a member of operating teams at both St. Francis Hospital and Christ Hospital in the Chicago area, would operate in the morning and then field calls about his patients in the evening.

One night, a few dinner guests were quite surprised as the good doctor was on the phone talking to a resident at Christ Hospital, when the other phone rang. His wife answered and whispered to her husband, "It's St. Francis calling."

He whispered back, "Tell St. Francis I'll have to call back. I'm talking to Christ."