Best Jokes

Two guys walking on the beach found an old brass lamp. The first guy immediately started rubbing it and, sure enough, a Genie popped out! Before he could say anything at all, the Genie turned him into a crab.

The other guy was horrified and shouted, "Oh my gosh! Why did you do that?"

The Genie said, "Aww, he just rubbed me the wrong way."

Little boy: "Mommy, what happens when a car gets so old and rusty that it won't move anymore?"

Mom: "Someone sells it to your father."

Last night, while my wife was asleep I decided to write algebraic terms all over her.

You should have seen the expression on her face!

A fellow with a very sore shoulder went to his doctor for a consultation.

"It looks like it's just inflamed," the doctor said as he looked at the x-rays. "A cortisone shot would likely calm done the pain for a while."

"But will it hurt?" the patient asked.

The doctor's responded, "I've given hundreds of these shots, and I've never felt a thing."