Best Jokes

What's the difference between where you drive and where you park?

A lot!

COURTSHIP: Is like looking at the beautiful photos in a seed catalog.

MARRIAGE: Is what actually comes up in your garden.

A nurse’s station at a hospital gets a phone call. The caller says, "I’m calling about Mr. Smith in room 403. How is he doing?”

The nurse replies, “His blood pressure went up and we treated him. He’s okay now.”

The voice asks, “Are you sure? I’m worried about him and was wondering if he’ll be at the hospital for long.”

“No, he’s fine now,” says the nurse. “In fact, he will be discharged tomorrow. Would you like to talk to him?”

“No thanks,” says the voice. “This is Mr. Smith in room 403. I’ve been looking for some information but there is never anyone around."

Friend: I'm selling a keyboard for $5.

Me: Why so cheap?

Friend: A spider crawled into it.

Me: Wow. Did you get rid of it?

Friend: No, but it's under CONTROL.