Best Jokes

Miser to son: "Son, how much did it cost when you took your girlfriend to dinner yesterday?"

Son: "Dad, it was only $25.00."

Dad: "Oh, that’s not too bad."

Son: "It would've been more, but that was all the money she had on her."

Dressing to go for a party, the husband says, ”My suit looks very shabby, and not appealing."

His wife replies, being supportive of course, "Don't worry about it, no one is going to be looking at you anyway."

“Do you know, why Andrews is so popular with the girls?”

“No, why?”

“When he sits down beside a pretty girl in a bar, he tells her, 'I’m not really so tall, I’m just sitting on my wallet.'"

Did you hear about the Canadian man who had a map of Canada tattooed to his butt?

Every time he sat down, Quebec separated.