Best Jokes

A last-minute filer walked into our state income tax office and handed me his returns. Just as he did, a peal of laughter could be heard in another room.

Glaring at me, he grumbled, “What are they doing back there, counting the money?”

What is the most common sickness for Christmas Trees?

Tincel-itis!

Teacher: If you have 10 muffins and your friend asks for 2 of them, how many muffins would you have left?

Me: 10

Teacher: Okay, let me try again. You have 10 muffins. What if your friend takes 2 of your muffins, how many would you have left?

Me: Still 10 muffins... and 1 injured friend.

A prominent surgeon, who was a member of operating teams at both St. Francis Hospital and Christ Hospital in the Chicago area, would operate in the morning and then field calls about his patients in the evening.

One night, a few dinner guests were quite surprised as the good doctor was on the phone talking to a resident at Christ Hospital, when the other phone rang. His wife answered and whispered to her husband, "It's St. Francis calling."

He whispered back, "Tell St. Francis I'll have to call back. I'm talking to Christ."