Best Jokes

Q: There is a butcher at the butcher shop. He is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. He has a wife and 2 kids. What does he weigh?

A: He weighs meat.

A last-minute filer walked into our state income tax office and handed me his returns. Just as he did, a peal of laughter could be heard in another room.

Glaring at me, he grumbled, “What are they doing back there, counting the money?”

What is the most common sickness for Christmas Trees?

Tincel-itis!

Teacher: If you have 10 muffins and your friend asks for 2 of them, how many muffins would you have left?

Me: 10

Teacher: Okay, let me try again. You have 10 muffins. What if your friend takes 2 of your muffins, how many would you have left?

Me: Still 10 muffins... and 1 injured friend.