Best Jokes

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball.

Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.

"Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches."

"I know, and that's all right," Satan answered. "We've got all the umpires."

Q: What do you get when you mix vodka, orange juice, and milk of magnesia?

A: A Philips Screwdriver.

I was watching the game at my parents home and I asked for something to eat. My dad said, "Go ahead and eat some of the peanuts in the bowl beside the chair."

I ended up eating them all and as I was leaving I said that I was sorry and would replace them. That's when dad said, "Ever since I lost my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off them."

Yo Momma is so dumb...

She came out with a bowl after hearing it was chilly outside!