Best Jokes

What do you call a 400 pound alcoholic?

A heavy drinker.

In an upscale pet supply store, a customer wanted to buy a red sweater for her dog. The clerk suggested that she bring her dog in for a proper fit.

"Oh, no, I can't do that!" the lady said.

"See, the sweater is going to be a surprise!"

A magical genie suddenly appears.

GENIE: "I grant you 10 wishes."

ME: "Isn't it usually just 3?"

GENIE: "Yes, but you've got a lot of issues going on here."

How many swimmers does it take to change a light bulb?

Don’t know yet, they keep getting electrocuted.