Best Jokes

A man came back to the dealer from whom he bought a new car.

“I believe you gave me a guarantee with my car,” he said.

“That’s right, sir,” the salesman answered. “We will replace anything that breaks.”

“Fine, I need a new garage door.”

“Doc, Doc!” the man yelled. “I’ve got cucumbers growing out of my ears!”

“My goodness!” exclaimed the doctor. “How did that happen?”

“Sure beats me. I planted carrots.”

During the Revolutionary War, England lost the battle of Saratoga because General Howe stayed in Philadelphia...

So they lost due to "lack of no Howe"!

"Now this is the verbal part of your employment test," said the interviewer. "Can you tell me what gross aggrandized annuity means?"

"Certainly," replied the applicant. "It means I don't get the job."