Best Jokes

My doctor's diagnosis was that I have high blood pressure.

I took that diagnosis with a grain of salt.

I'm not a fan of spring cleaning.

Let's be honest, I'm not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either.

After a vacation in London, a couple had a little chat...

Husband: How should I get rid of the British Pounds I brought back?

Wife: Take them to a bank and covert them to dollars.

Husband: I'm not sure they'll do that. I think I just need to eat less and walk more.

The little brother came running to his mommy complaining that his brother had hit him.

The mother said, "Haven’t I taught you children to keep the golden rule, 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'"

"Well, he must’ve wanted to get punched because that’s what he did to me."