Best Jokes

When walking into a casino, you are handed a sucker...

Are they trying to tell you something?

I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years.

"When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance."

How does a tree access a computer?

Like anyone else would.. it logs on.

"Hello..."

"Hello?"

"I am John with the C.I.A."

"I know."

"And how do you know that?"

"You called a phone that has no SIM card, no battery, and it's broken."