Best Jokes

Where do turtles go to get fuel?

At the SHELL station!

What did the apple tree say to the hungry caterpillar?

Leaf me alone.

For over 40 years, my grandfather put in long hours at his job, so I was more than a little curious about the way he filled his days since his retirement. "How has life changed?"

A man of few words, he replied, "Well I get up in the morning with nothing to do, and I go to bed at night with it half done."

Billy and Pa' were walking in the woods when they came across a sign saying, "Tree Fellers wanted."

One of them said, "Ye know, it's a shame Paddy isn't here. We could have gotten the job."