Best Jokes

Walking thru the mall past the vision center, I told my wife, "Ignore the store to your left, it's not really there... it's an optical illusion."

If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono...
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali...

If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, she'd be Cat Doggy Dogg...
If Sandra Locke married Elliott Ness, divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she would become Sondra Locke Ness Munster...
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting...

If Ivana Trump married Orson Bean, King Oscar, Louis Mayer, Norbert Wiener, the she'd be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener...

And, if Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced and married Gregory Peck, Divorced him for Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur!!!

What has feet, legs, but nothing else?

Pantyhose!

Claudia had just moved into a new apartment complex and was checking out her mailbox in the hallway.

The postman was just arriving and she curiously asked him, "Which slot is for 'outgoing mail'?"

The postman paused and replied, "Oh, that one that isn't bashful."