Best Jokes

I told my wife that I wanted to be cremated.

So she called and made an appointment for Monday at 2:00 pm.

What do you call it when a zombie is last to cross the finish line in a marathon?

Being dead last.

What looks like half an apple?

The other half.

Not to brag, but I just went into another room and actually remembered why I went in there...

It was the bathroom, but still.