Best Jokes

Sign seen in repair shop (directed at customers):

Hourly rate: $100

Hourly rate if you sit and watch: $125

Hourly rate if you sit, watch, and comment: $150

Hourly rate if you sit, watch, comment, and "help": $200

I always wanted to know...

Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks'?

Why do doctors' patients have no patients of their own?

Because they have no patience.

Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups: the bonbon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group, and the "whatever-the-thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge-is" group.