Best Jokes

1. At a movie theatre, which 'arm rest' is yours?

2. In the word scent, is the "S" silent or "C"?

3. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?

4. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?

5. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?

A report says high school students aren't very good with American history.

On a recent test, a majority of seniors thought Lincoln's Gettysburg address was 'ALincoln@gettysburg.com'.

Professor (picking on a sleepy student): "Name two pronouns."

Student (yawning): "Who? Me?"

Professor: "Very good, and here I thought you were inattentive."

A guy walks into a restaurant with a small dog. The waiter says, "Sir, I'm very sorry, but we don't allow dogs in here."

The guy replies, "But this isn't just any dog ... this dog can play the piano!"

The waiter responds, "Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay and have a meal on the house!"

So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing. Ragtime, Mozart ... and the waiter and patrons are enjoying the music. Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.

The waiter asks the guy, "What was that all about?"

The guy says, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor."