Little Johnny came home from Sunday School with the distressing news news that he had lost the penny given to him for the collection.
"But Johnny, this is the third Sunday in a row that you have lost your penny," indicated his mother.
"Well," replied Johnny, "I gotta win sooner or later."
The client thumped his crutch on the ground as he confronted his lawyer. "Heavens, man, your bill is outrageous! You are taking three-fifths of my settlement. I never heard of such extortion."
"I furnished the skill, the eloquence and the necessary legal learning for your case," said the lawyer coolly.
"Yes," said the client, "but I furnished the case itself."
"Bosh," sneered the lawyer. "Anyone could fall down a deep hole."