Best Jokes

Before my daughter went on her first date, I gave her "the talk."

"Sometimes, it’s easy to get carried away when you’re with a boy," I said. "Remember, a short moment of indiscretion could ruin your life."

"Don’t worry," she said. "I don’t plan on ruining my life until I get married."

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?

Ten-tickles!

I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"

I said, “Homer’s the big dude and Marge has blue hair...”

A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?"

"No, sorry." says the cop.

"What about all these other cars?"

"Well, they didn't ask."