The well known concert pianist agreed to listen to a friend's daughter play the piano. He was a very polite man and didn't make a wry face, even though he wanted to.
"Do you think I should go to the conservatory in Paris?" she asked after she had finished.
"It can't hurt," he replied hastily. "There are many eligible bachelors there."
A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer. The ringmaster asked if he had any experience.
The man said, "Why, yes. My father was one of the most famous lion tamers in the world, and he taught me everything he knew."
"Really?" said the ringmaster. "Did he teach you how to make a lion jump through a flaming hoop?"
"Yes he did," the man replied.
"And did he teach you how to have six lions form a pyramid?"
"Yes he did," the man replied.
"And have you ever stuck your head in a lion's mouth?"
"Just once," the man replied.
The ringmaster asked, "Why only once?"
The man said, "I was looking for my father."
My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!?”
So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents’ house.
My friend Joe recently went on the Dolly Parton diet...
It made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean!