Latest Jokes

Terry slammed his cards on the table and left the game in a huff.

"Boy," said another player disgustingly, "I really hate playing cards with a bad loser."

"He isn't very pleasant," another player said, raking in the chips, "but it's better than playing with a good winner."

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.

He told me to quit going to those places.

I walked into the liquor store and a guy working there asked me, “Do you need help?”

I said, “Yes, but I’m here to get whiskey instead.”

A snail was involved in an accident that resulted in his shell being torn completely off.

Hearing about the accident, one of his friends rushed over (as much as a snail can rush) to his friend's house.

"I heard about your accident!" he exclaimed, and then asked, "How are you feeling?"

The recovering snail answered, "Sluggish."