Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke ''Say, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'?'' asked one drunk to his friend at the next bar stool.
''Well, I'd have to say it's a bag that tells you when you've drunk way too much,'' answered the equally wasted gent.
“Ah hell, whaddya know, I've been married to one of those for years and years now.''
Interviewer: "Your resume says you take things too literally."
Me: “When the hell did my resume learn to talk?”
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
09. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
10. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
11. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. You can't remember who sent you this list.
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