Sam (boasting about his hunting trip): "All of a sudden I spotted a leopard..."
Pam: "You can’t kid me, they come that way!"
Waiter (watching a customer dusting his plate): "Pardon, Sir, but may I ask you what you’re doing?"
Customer: "Sorry, force of habit. I used to be an umpire."
Pretty Nurse: "Every time I take the patient's pulse it gets faster. What should I do?"
Doctor: "Blindfold him."
Schoolmaster: "This makes the fifth time I have punished you this week. What do have you to say for yourself?"
Youth: "That I am glad it's Friday, sir."